Otaku by Chris Kluwe

Author:Chris Kluwe
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi, azw3
Publisher: Tom Doherty Associates

* * *

“Hamlin…”

We’re back in the crypto-room, his response to my request almost instant. He looks up at me, face tense. Guarded. Like he’s expecting me to hit him, use my perfectly honed muscles to smash his carefully crafted visage. Like I can’t see the pain in his eyes. Before I can say anything, he’s talking, words tumbling out, eyes flicking back down to the table, away from my own.

“I’m sorry, Ash. I’m so sorry. It’s why I didn’t tell you who my dad was. Who I am. I was born paralyzed, polio mutation. Apparently it first showed up when they stopped vaxxing. Virus finally figured out how to nullify maternal antibodies. My mom wanted to abort, but my dad wouldn’t—he made her carry me. Couldn’t lose his precious heir, and obviously the laws are what they are, even in the west. They divorced a year later. I don’t talk to either of them that much. Mom’s just … yeah. Dad’s too obsessed with trying to regain his place on the corp track. The board’ll overlook a divorce or two, but no one wants a cripple in position to inherit.”

I feel his words wash over me, the baring of his soul, and I let my anger go. I’ve made my choice, and it was no choice at all.

“Shit, I’m … I don’t…” I suck in a breath, then release it. “That sucks.”

He shrugs, shoulders still tight.

“I’m luckier than a lot of other people. Death rate was in the hundreds of thousands before they figured out another vaxx. They stuck most of those affected in camps to die. No profit in curing them back then. My dad had the creds to hook me up with a state-of-the-art life-support system, and before I was old enough to talk, he’d used his exile to the ‘games’ division to focus on building the tech to allow me to interface with the ’Nets. Bunch of contacts in my brain, even better than haptics, not that I’m ever outside to know the difference.

“You want to know how I followed you? I grew up on the ’Nets, Ash. I grew up in the Game. This—” He waves a hand, encompassing everything around us. “—is where I live. It’s my house, my backyard, my dreams and my nightmares. I’ll never be anything outside, but in here, I can fly. Taking control of some spyeyes in the Brown is like breathing.” He laughs, grim. “Not that I can do that on my own either.”

I reach across the table and take his hand. Startled, he looks up at me.

“But why didn’t you just tell me? I’m not going to pretend this is easy, but … shit, Ham, I love you. Ever since that first day we met. You know that. You listen to me, the only person who ever has.”

“You say that you love me, but that’s in here. In the Game. You can’t love what I am in the real.”

The bitterness in his voice is startling.

“This body is a lie, Ash.

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